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[20 Sep 2004|01:59am] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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If you have any further questions concerning my live journal posts, I would highly suggest you come to me with them. Apparently I can't post anything without my words being taken out of context, and people making assumptions. Things are so completely fucked up, and if I'm not the one telling you personally about my life, then assume you aren't deserving to know anything about what's going on. Thats one assumption you can fucking count on.
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| raw emotion... |
[19 Sep 2004|02:58am] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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I wish things were different with us. I wish that you cared enough to just pick up the phone and comfort me during these times. You never want to talk to me, and whenever you do talk to me all we do is argue.I don't know if I can just hang in there any longer. I don't know what I'll do. I still wake up every morning devestatingly sad at the fact that you aren't there for me to wake up to. I cry myself to sleep every night just wishing that you were there to hold me and tell me I'll be just fine, that we're in this together. I have so much going on right now, and you were the person who would make it better. I wish we could have that again.
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[19 Aug 2004|03:40pm] |
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I hate my fucking life.
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| This is just so fucked up. |
[11 Jul 2004|01:19am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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I am terrified, and you are the one person that I need.Since you can't be supportive, I suppose I'll have to be okay.I'll adjust to you not being here for me, but it won't be easy.I just can't do what you ask of me. For you to ask this of me, you're being very selfish. Its really sad, but I think I might be better off.
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[01 Jul 2004|05:35am] |
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I hope you are happy.
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| I feel really sad about everything. |
[25 Jun 2004|06:34am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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My dad playing with dice in the kitchen. |
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I really hate the way I feel right now. I have so much shit on my mind and nobody who cares to listen to me. I just want these feelings to be over with. I just want to be happy, I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I can't remember the last time I felt secure with myself for who I am. No matter where I go there are the same problems, and nothing can seem to make me happy. I don't feel loved.
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[24 Jun 2004|09:04pm] |
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Its kind of funny how you can sit there and talk shit about me, then delete my comments to your entry.What did I blow up your spot? Andrew you are so fucked up it isn't even fucking funny. You just told me the other day that you still love me. So don't fucking sit there and point fingers at who is playing mind games. If you loved me you wouldn't need to seek sexual attention from stupid ass bitches. You are a whore, and thats why I left. You can't expect me to stick around and allow this to go on. You are one of the most selfish people I have ever met in my enitre life. If you are going to call me a psycho stalker ex girlfriend then maybe you shouldn't call me, or tell me how you still care, then get on the computer and have it be a whole different story. I found a letter from when we lived at my parent's house And these are your exact words:"I need to stop hurting the ones that I love because I only end up hurting myself even more". You also said " I don't know how to handle a love this deep, I have never loved anyone like I love you". Damn right you don't know how to handle your feelings. I just can't afford to have to suffer the consequences of your actions anymore. I can't trust you, you lie right to my face. You are constantly putting me down, and you know for a fact you could never find another person who would put up with any of your abuse for as long as I have. You are going to realize the hard way that there will never be another person out there who you could care for you Like I do. Never. You make me sick to my stomach.
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[26 Apr 2004|01:43am] |
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mood |
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 un-wanted |
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music |
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corey hart-sunglasses at night |
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I feel like an orphan child dropped off at someone's doorstep in a basket.I really want to die. Guess who can't even be here to comfort me? Well, would it suprise you if I said? It's okay, I don't need anyone. I really should be used to this by now. I'm done with being there for people who don't give a shit. Fuck this, and fuck you. I'm done. I give up. I wonder if I can handle another night of drinking alone.... I fucking hope that I drink myself unconcious. I have never felt so abandoned in my life. I just want to die. I will never ask anything from anyone for as long as I live. Not like its that long anyhow. I won't even give anyone the chance to fuck me over ever again.
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[05 Apr 2004|03:22am] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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You are a fucking prick.Way to avoid me all fucking day, asshole. I hope you are having fun. I fucking hate you.
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[18 Mar 2004|09:23am] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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I just want you to be happy. I wish I could be the one to do that for you. There are so many things I want for you, and know I will never be able to provide them for you. I remember when I used to please you, I feel as though I have lost my ability to do so anymore. I wish that I knew exactly what to do or say. What happened? I wish you could look inside of me and see how much I desire to satisfy you, I wish I had the means to. I wish you could see how deeply I care for and love you. If I were to lose you my heart would turn to ash.
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[04 Mar 2004|01:32am] |
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haha did you like that last entry miss veronica jeanne? this is your (hot) sister. i hope you LOVE the layout. i love you! you can delete these if you want, i just thought it would be WAY cute if i left a little message to you!<333 xto the izzo
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[04 Mar 2004|01:30am] |
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I LOVE IT IN THE ASS. hahaha!
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[26 Feb 2004|08:25pm] |
♥Andrew and ♥Veronica | - Will adopt many evil kids.
- Can't stand to watch television when the time is right.
- Are like two peas in a pod, but not genetically.
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| Hahahaha |
[26 Feb 2004|08:10pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Alkaline Trio-for your lungs only |
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punk rock. 1-10 scene points. way to go, you drink
outside of shows lots and make the rest of the
scene hate you.
how many scene points do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[16 Feb 2004|06:54pm] |
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mood |
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in pieces.. |
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music |
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the song that makes you miss me |
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Yes...I am very much alive. I'd rather not be. This love is a terminal illness.In the end its going to kill us, well me at least. You are half way out the door to something new, ready to move on.By you moving on this means me moving out.Good bye.
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| grrr..... |
[15 Feb 2004|05:11pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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toadies, tyler |
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I hate my job. I have to work an 11 day stretch.At least I get out of work a bit early tonight. I hate feeling like I'm wasting away at that place. I wont be complaining when I get my pay check tho. So it turns out that its not that bad.
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[28 Jan 2004|04:59pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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I wish you could be here for me, but you're not.
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[24 Jan 2004|05:13pm] |
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My father just informed me today that the drummer of judas priest got arrested for molesting a 17 year old boy with downsyndrome....which dosen't really suprise me.hahah
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| too much cough medicine |
[20 Jan 2004|04:10pm] |
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mood |
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I cant stop sneezing |
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I hate being sick.I'm such a wimp.I feel really bad for Andrew because he hasn't been able to get a good night of sleep with me coughing all night.Its really funny that as much as I can't breathe I still chain smoke.I don't want to work today, but its not like Im going to call in or anything, I have dick for hours as it is.I want to see my family. I had a dream that I was at home and I got to play with maddison <3.I have been having really weird dreams lately,like 10 different dreams a night.I had a dream that Andrew was humping some broad,and I beat the piss out of her.Then I threw her down the stairs and fist fucked her in the ass then I cut her throat.Then the cops showed up and put me in rehab.WEIRD
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